The Dark Night of the Soul

For much of my adult life i have been in one form of ministry or another: worship, teaching, youth. When I was married I was teaching and writing my own Bible studies. I was in a choir that made CDs. I was co-publisher of a newsletter that started out as a project for a Sunday School class and ended up having readers on 3 different continents. Then, the world caved in. 

I really lost all of that ministry. I despaired. I felt that it was over, that I had no future. There were some very dark times when I made some really bad choices. I tried. I prayed. I read. I did what everyone says to do. And the darkness got worse until I despaired of everything. 

And then a question came: “If you never write another word, sing in another choir, publicly minister in My name, but you have Me, will that be enough?” All of those things were good, and I believe given by Him. But now, the Lord was asking me if I could be content with just Him. I sensed that He was saying that my former life, my dreams had to die–with no promise of resurrection. 

Many down through the centuries have written about such a time, called the dark night of the soul. The Lord places us in darkness, until we can cry out, “Lord, if I have nothing else but You, it is enough.” Is it a hard time? At times it is unbelievably hard. But, in my estimation, it was worth it. When I tell people that I am content where He has placed me, I really am. Has He restored some of that ministry? In a sense, yes. But only after I was tested, and in different ways than I thought would happen.  

I can’t promise you a sunshiny future, but I can promise you that in turning to Him and abandoning yourself to Him, He will never leave you or forsake you. “I am with you. I am your Redeemer. You are mine, and I am not finished with you.”


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